Opportunities Are Endless

I had an amazing opportunity to get more bridal pictures done, a year after my wedding, and with a 2 month old! A photographer posted on Facebook saying that she needed to borrow a bouquet for a photo shoot and since I still have mine, I offered mine up to her. Later, I got a text message from her asking if I would be willing to model for her since I had a winter wedding dress. She informed me that the photo shoot was for a shawl she made for her company and that she needed pictures of it. She is seriously an amazing photographer! So this is just me bragging about her and showing off her work.

First off, her name is Jayme Garcia Christensen. She did my photo shoot for free and gave me all these wonderful photos in return for my service. Here is why she is great and why you should ask her to take your photos:

-->She is constantly praising you and happy with the shots she is getting which makes you feel like a beauty queen!

-->She poses every part of your body which is great for inexperienced "models" like me to feel confident in the way I am posing.

-->She is loyal and true to her word. I have realized it is my pet peeve when someone promises something (you don't have to say the words to make it be a promise) and doesn't keep that promise, so I really admired this in a photographer!

-->She was fast and consistent in what she did. Our shoot took probably 35 minutes max. and she did a phenomenal job.

I'll keep this short and sweet, but I thought a shout out would be nice for her, she totally deserves it! Thanks for the pictures Jayme! You deserve more recognition for what you do.

The New Year = A New Life

One simple photo to capture the new life. That's all. Just one photo. 

December 18th, 2015
This marks the day that Levi is an official graduate from BYU-Idaho! Congrats to my amazing hard-working-goal-making-hunk-of-a husband. He made it to the end, and now we wait a year for him to start it all over again. (: Funny how schooling works like that, isn't it? You finish Elementary just to go to Jr. High and you finish that so you can proceed to High School, then College, etc. An end is never really the end. But it is still a huge accomplishment and an even bigger stepping stone to the ultimate goal -- PA school. How grateful I am to Levi for all the hard work he puts into his passions.

The other wonderful thing this picture captures is the fact that Levi and I are parents. I am now a mom. First a foremost I am a daughter of God, a wife, and now I have added another sacred title of being "Mom."

While I was pregnant the thought of going back to school once the baby came was a quick, easy thought to process. "Of course I will go back! Baby will have a babysitter everyday for just a measly 3 hours for the first semester back and then I will come back home to be with him all day," thought I. Then reality struck when I had baby in my arms trying to do homework the semester I had him. I hated putting him second. Even though I told myself that I was doing this for him, it felt like I was still putting him below schooling.

I had a friend in the same situation as me who pointed out to me a feeling I was also experiencing --we would both get frustrated with our child when he became fussy because it was taking us away from homework rather than get frustrated with the homework for keeping us from our child. We discussed how terrible we felt about that. It should be the other way around! Get mad at homework for not letting us give our babies all the attention they need. It clicked. Right there in that moment, it clicked.

School is important. Education is important. Being able to provide for the family is important. But in that moment God spoke to my heart. He told me that I could still do all these things! That if I truly put my family first (which in my case means not going to school right now) that those things would naturally come (with a bit of effort). I was reminded of my mom who doesn't have a degree behind her name but is probably a qualified nurse, teacher, counselor, and seamstress by now. That came with time, research, and many tears of her own and many tears from her 12 children.

Most women I know and respect and someday aspire to be, don't have a degree. Now that does NOT make getting a degree bad, nor does it qualify me to excuse myself from trying to obtain a degree. I have a passion of my own to fulfill (becoming a Therapeutic Recreation Specialist) someday, and in the meantime I can still apply the things I already know how to do in my growing family! Besides getting a degree right now would only be put on pause the second I got it to raise a rambunctious 1 year old. I don't see the point in killing myself and my family to get a degree, just to have one.

It boils down to the fact that I feel as though God has answered my prayer and helped me make a very hard decision. It makes me sad to turn my back to one of my major passions, but that hole is filled as my whole heart turns to an even greater passion. Staying at home will not be easy. I will have to push myself. I will need to be very self-motivated. I will have to constantly direct my time and attention to a tiny baby who can't talk or walk (at least for now.) I will have to seek out opportunities rather than have them sitting in my lap or right at my fingertips. I will have to figure out how to volunteer and bring my baby with. I will have no car and get to walk to the store with my baby in the freezing weather (yes that has happened -- at least it was barely above freezing, cause in Rexburg that's warm winter weather.) I will have to work really hard to get human contact outside of my husband and baby. But I know it will all be worth it in the end. I refuse to let this decision to put school off for a few years destroy me or become something I regret later on because it is a decision God has clearly given me direction on. He has plans in store for me and my family, and to deny those plans and blessings with regrets is silly, so this is me choosing to love this decision and not look back.

Please don't get me wrong, I am not preaching the idea that this is the right decision for everyone. I believe in a God who gives general and individual instruction, and this so happens to be an individual one. Many women I respect and love are doing (or have done) school and kids combined. I don't think any less of them by any means. This just happens to be right for me and my family. Huge thanks to everyone who helped me make this decision. Now on to a new life. A new family. A new me.

Baby Journey Week 31-37

September 14 - Week 32

School started today! I went to an entire day of outdoor cooking - it was exhausting. We had two hours or so of lecture and then we were outside for four hours cooking. (I now realize that the smoke from the fire makes me a little ill feeling. And this first week we cooked with tin cans which made the smell that much worse. If you have never experienced cooking with tin cans, imagine a very bitter, dirty mixture of coffee and cigarette smoke and mix that with smoke from a fire...it's very strong and my senses are very sensitive.) This made me pretty worried about how the rest of the semester would go, but not enough to drop the class, or do anything else drastic.

This is what the can looks like, I was baking a cookie inside the upside down tuna fish can. We also cooked meat and veggies just straight on the top of the giant can, that's why it is burnt looking, for I had already eaten my veggies and meat.

My other class (Parenting Skills) is very fun and not stressful at all, so I think I will do fine by the time I get to the end of these two block classes, and we pray that baby won't come too early so that I can finish them. (He would be 2 weeks early before my classes fully end - highly possible.)

Also, here is my belly bump - he is getting SO big..at least it feels that way. 

September 25-26 - Week 33

My wonderful family threw me a baby shower in Utah! I got to see a lot of friends I hadn't seen in a very long time and I was so grateful, and ecstatic to be able to see them! I feel very blessed to have such wonderful friends, and family members who look after Levi and I and the things that we need. Having a baby is becoming more and more real, and Levi and I are getting more and more anxious and excited. We just really want to meet this little guy already! We talk about how he might look, and fantasize about things we will do with him when he is finally here, like kiss his cheeks, hold his fingers, etc. - just all the cute baby things. (: This picture is the only one I have from that day, me and my Tina Belle. Oh how I wish all my friends lived closer to me!

September 29 - Week 34

Today was our Doctor's Appointment. It was our first time meeting the new guy (Dr. Packer). We have just been so thrilled and ready to have a baby recently, and it is killing us to wait any longer. Well, today made it even more real because we got a surprise ultrasound of our precious bean! As I mentioned in an earlier blog, you should be measuring right along with how far along you are. So if you are 34 weeks you should be 34 centimeters, or close to it. If you are more than 3 centimeters from the mark, then they check things to make sure everything is going alright. Dr. Packer said, "You just won yourselves a free ultrasound!" I was so happy! We made an appointment for the same day just a few hours later, and we were so ready to see another sneak peak of a larger baby than we had seen so long ago. He was measuring just fine - there were no worries at all (from me or the ultrasound technician.) He is a whopping 5 pounds 6 ounces and I can totally feel all of that weight not to mention the weight of the placenta and all the other fluids. (So far in the pregnancy I have gained about 15 pounds.) Seeing him so close up made us even more ready for him to come and it makes it hard to think of how close he is, yet how distant and far he actually is. Anywho, here are a few of the ultrasound surprise!

Doesn't it kind of look like he is pursing his lips? I hope that's not the case cause I want him to have those full lips, just like his daddy. P.S. the thing under his chin is his umbilical cord, I asked. (:

Again with those luscious lips though! This is his nose/lips from the front angle, as if they were pushed up against a window.

His most perfect of all the ears. Okay..I know I will think everything is perfect on him...but it's a perfect ear, is it not? Plus, how cool is it that he has hair already, and that you can see that on an ultrasound?...Wonder how much that will stick when he actually comes to join us.

Also...here is what he looks like on the outside..(;

October 6-11 - Weeks 35/36

We went to San Diego -- no, we drove to San Diego. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and I only had to be the cause to stop for the bathroom like once (granted I did need to go each time someone else needed to stop, I got lucky!) Nate was graduating from Marine boot camp and we went down as a family to support and celebrate him and his accomplishments. Being in warmer weather was fantastic, and so was being able to swim. Levi took such great care of me as we stood most of the time in the sun, but he did all he could to make sure I was cared for. He is the best. Here is a picture of us and Nate after graduation:

Isn't that guy in the middle so smoking and handsome! Mmmhmmm.

The beach was so much fun, and probably the last time my white legs will see sun. We played hard in the waves and had a blast! Then I had to work on homework...but it was a good excuse to take a rest and enjoy the sun.

The in laws are so excited for this bundle of joy to come, and they make sure to tell me! I love it. I also love talking to each of them about their experiences having their first, and what they enjoyed and advice they have. It was so fun to just be with the in laws for about a week, road trips are the best, and they help you grow closer. 

October 16 - Week 36

We went on a super fun date with Eric and Lacey to Idaho Falls. We had Chili's and then went to the Deep Love Ghostly Rock Opera. It was such fun, and baby was moving a lot because of how loud the music was. It was amazing and the only "uncomfortable" thing in my pregnancy right now is just how often my bladder gets squeezed or punched - either on the inside or out. (When it's on the outside it's usually Levi..why, you ask, not so sure.) Here I am at 36:

Things are pretty steady and normal as far as my pregnancy goes, but my feelings and emotions are all over the place. I am not a blubbery mess, like some pregnant women get, but if you know me well enough, you know that's no surprise. The emotions that are coming seem intense to me because they are rare. I mainly feel scared for such a huge change, and for so many unexpected things to come our way. I am nervous to be a mom. I am worried that I won't be able to love unconditionally. I am terrified that I will be so caught up in giving baby all of my attention that I will neglect Levi. I am stressed to have so much attention on me, and especially for our tinsy babe to have too much attention and become overstimulated. I also feel like he will never come, but I know that he will, it's just a huge ball of anticipation that gets bigger and bigger as each day rolls around. I still have a few "milestones" to get to where I expect to still be pregnant, so once those are up, we will see how my feelings have changed. 

October 23/24 - Week 37

Well here comes my final major "milestone!" Outdoor Cooking overnight practicum - camping at Badger Creek. It was such a blast! Levi got permission to come with me in case I needed to leave early, and we got spoiled to a cabin (which was only nice for the warmth - I hardly slept due to how uncomfortable the beds were.) We made dinner and breakfast for a group of roughly 60 people, and at each meals I felt pretty worn out and sick, which is rare for me nowadays. We also got to see very cute husky puppies, and Sister Lovell gave each of us a nose whistle! Hilarious.

Our view was incredible, and we were so happy to be outdoors for class. I have the coolest major ever. Seriously.

It's a pretty terrible picture, but try to only pay attention to how darn cute these puppies are. It was freezing, but they warmed us up well! They are only 6 weeks old.

Milestones have all been met, and my first block classes will all be officially over by Tuesday the 27th. My mind has been somewhat eased this week because Tessa came to visit and I was reminded of the joy that children bring to my life. It was so fun to have them around and to see the cutest husband be the cutest uncle. I can't wait to fall in love with him as a father. Oh my heart doesn't know what it's getting into in the next few weeks. We made a really gigantic pile of leaves and tried to show the boys how to have fun in it, but since it was twice the size of Corbin he avoided it. We had fun though. I think we will be able to handle this whole parenting thing, maybe.

Baby Journey Week 21-30

June 30 - Week 21

Hannah cakes has felt him move as well! She felt him the day before she left on her mission (June 30) he was such a good nephew for her! (; Since Levi is the only one to have felt him before I was worried timing would be off, or that she would have to be really patient, but as soon as I laid down and she put her hand on my belly she felt him! Sadie claims to have felt him, and I hope she did! But I'm excited for her to feel him really kick because she's never really been around a pregnant belly. She touches my belly all the time and it is so precious to me! 

Here I am at 22:

I'm pregnant, no question about it. People can tell right away cause it looks like I have a cantaloupe stuffed up my clothes. (: I love it! I'm honestly obsessed with this tiny belly and feeling him all the time. We refer to baby by the name we think we will call him and it feels right. I love it all! (Seriously though this size was my most favorite time of being pregnant, it's obvious but not huge yet..just cute. (: This is legit where my belly obsession began.)

August 29 - Week 29
It's been a while… But not much has happened!

On the week of July 15 to the 18th (23 weeks prego) I went on a trip for my class: canyoneering! I only got to do three canyons because I was trying to take it easy on my body. The three I got to do were some of the funnest of the whole trip. I got really lucky! Most the rest of the class did 5 to 6 Canyons. The last Canyon I did was late at night and we finished by about one in the morning. I was exhausted the next day, and while everyone else went on one last canyon I slept in the car, and then we left for home. [Since this was my first time away from Levi, and for so long, I was very ready to be at home!] We finally rolled in to town at about 2:30 AM. Levi and I had to teach at church that same day and for the lack of preparation (on my part) we actually felt like we did fairly well. 

Here are a few pictures of the canyoneering trip:

Everyone was so kind to me, I was literally looked out for every step, or scoot/shimmy, of the way.

I'm the one in the middle with the blue shirt on, turned away from the camera.

Again, I am the one in blue.

Last one! I am in the orange...yes the one where the big gap of no one starts. (: Slow and steady wins the race, and I felt like a winner. This was such a fun and challenging trip!

The point of me telling the whole story, is somewhat to make up for my lack of journal writing, but also to explain how exhausted I was and how unprepared I was to be woken up Sunday (July 19/20 - Week 24) night/morning in severe pain. My right kidney was on fire! So I went to the bathroom, tried to walk it off, and then eventually tried to sleep it off. About 40 minutes later, I was awakened again by the pain. This time I knew something was wrong, and Levi woke up to help me out. He got me a heated rice pack, a drink of water, and tucked me back into bed. [Picture in your mind something like the interaction with the Grinch and Cindy Lou Who when she catches him stealing the Christmas tree. He pats her head and sends her off! It was a short encounter, and I was so tired that nothing really even made sense.]

Levi stayed up worried about me while I slept again for about another 40 minutes, and when I woke up this time Levi said "we should probably go to the doctor." I told him it was probably kidney stones, and doctors can't do much for kidney stones… They usually just send you home and tell you to wait for them to pass. But after waking up a third time in greater pain, and after Levi gave me a blessing, we decided for the baby's sake that we should probably go to the doctor. And of course the only doctor awake at four in the morning is the one in the ER. So we drove there (like 5 minutes away) and they had me pee in a cup (no strainer or anything, just a simple cup) and then I laid down and "rested" while we waited for the doctor. He came about 25 minutes after we got there and asked me a few questions, then decided to give me pain medication (morphine) and sent me on my way. He also ordered an ultrasound for my kidneys and I believe somewhat for the baby. Well… The morphine did not help one bit, it only made me feel worse! (The pain actually intensified and I got really dizzy and really tired.) So I came home and passed out until our ultrasound at 11. 

I braved life through a mandatory class and I probably looked awful but I felt awful too. The pain sort of stopped that night and didn't start again until Tuesday night (July 21). This time I was at the parents' house and she gave me a heating pad and called Dr. Meredith's wife because she has chronic kidney stones and knows a thing or two about what they are, and what to do. He and his wife came to my parents' house and Dr. Meredith said it was most likely kidney stones even though the ultrasound did not detect it. He told me to take hydrocodone, get some rest, and drink lots of fluids. So that's what I did! I hated taking hydrocodone because it did the same thing to me as the morphine did, so I resorted to sleeping and drinking lots. 

Finally on about Monday or Tuesday (July 27 or 28 - Week 25) I found a remedy, if you can call it that. I drank lemon juice, diluted in my water of course, and thought that night would be the night I gave preterm labor to my child. I was in the most pain I had been in yet. As I sat on the toilet I honestly thought that my baby would come out the pain was that intense. Luckily it didn't last all night, and it went away about an hour after I went to the bathroom. I didn't realize it then, but looking back I'm pretty sure that is the night I passed the gnarly kidney stones. [Although I think I did feel a little joggle of pain the day after this, or even two days after this.] 

Side note: I suppose looking back at how much pain I was in you could compare it to giving birth, but seriously those who say it is the same, or worse, are crazy! I honestly have period cramps that are worse, and longer lasting, than the pain I experienced. It was only a total of about 2 hours of pain, and then I felt totally normal! So if that is worse than giving birth, this should be a breeze!

So I finished finals week with kidney stones! Luckily my teachers were very considerate and let me extend the due date for my exams. 

The biggest bummer was us having to skip out on going to Blue Mountain. We did the best we could to make Rexburg exciting and adventurous. We missed the parade because of my kidney stones. But we did play ladder ball, and we even dressed for the occasion! The last few pictures of my bump progression have been forgotten [but mainly neglected] so here is my 24 weeks picture along with our July 24 dress up day. 

I know you can't tell as well as past 'bump progress' pictures, and I am sorry! This will just have to do for now. Plus, look how cute my pioneer husband is...mmmhmm!

After all my kidney stone pain was gone we went to Utah! We went to a lot of pioneer museums. It was a lot of fun! On July 30 we went to Tessa's for a Doterra party. And then we went back to the Vances for dinner. Then back home to Rexburg!

Aug 4-Week 26

Levi went to the playmill for his first time. This is also another week we forgot to get a picture of my bump so I will put two pictures so you can get an accurate idea.

Only one more "normal" bump progress picture after this one!

August 7 - Still 26 weeks

We drove to Washington! We did this for Brandon and Chelsea's pre-wedding reception. And to be with Chelsea when she went to the temple for her first time! So here's another picture of me at 26/27 weeks pregnant. [My body did fine on the car ride both ways!]

Aug 17 - Week 28
28 week appointment! This also means the glucose test… Yes, the one that everyone complains about! I did fine!! [Insert choir of angels shouting praises.] The drink was not bad at all and I passed all of the test with "flying colors." And all they had to do was prick my finger. We got to listen to baby's heartbeat just like we do every time and they measured my belly and we discussed some things about breast-feeding after an examination. Dr. Cod seems to be very confident that I will be fine breast feeding which makes me very happy! Then the same day we left to Utah where we stayed there for a week to be with family and also to go to Jake and Alisha's wedding! Yet again this was another week that we neglected to take a picture, but here is one at the wedding reception!
                                                 

Front angle of my sassy belly, for those interested.

And just because I love this picture...here is August 15 - Brandon and Chelsea's wedding!

August 31 - Week 30
I am shocked that I finally hit 30 weeks! You feel like this day will never come, and then it does and nothing really changes. (: We had another appointment, two weeks goes by really fast! Everything is going great. Dr. Meredith had to remeasure my belly because the nurse was concerned that it is too small, but he said that it was just fine! Once you get into the 30th week your belly measurement should correlate with the week. Mine was 29 cm instead of 30 cm...doesn't seem all that small to me! Also starting now I am supposed to gain a pound a week. I am right on track with my weight - not too much, not too little. [So far I have gained about 18 pounds with about 10 more to go...yay for a growing baby!] 



And we are back to normal with accurate pics in the same spot/dress. I don't want to talk about how depressing it is that we neglected taking the other weeks pics...I just hope baby isn't too bummed out that his mom neglected being perfect while I was pregnant. (;

Baby Journey Week 10-20

May 7 - Week 13

At this point I'm starting to figure out how my body reacts to certain foods and how much sleep I need. I do best when I don't eat after 8 PM, with at least 8 1/2 hours of sleep, no dairy products, and eating a meal every three hours. Turns out snacks make me feel worse because I get that much more hungry. I am starting to feel better, but I still have to pay close attention to what I eat, and when. Amber had me try vitamin B 6 and Unisom. She swore to me that it was her miracle concoction for her pregnancy with Ezra, it is supposed to ease up the nausea. So I tried it, and felt way worse than usual. I had no energy and I was very grumpy for the first time in my pregnancy. So I tried it for these last three days and decided to stop. The result of being more sleepy (and grumpy) are just not worth it for me. I am currently in my 13th week and this is about how I still look even though this picture was taken a week ago.

It's a teeny tiny baby bump! And it changes every day. My back hurts more and more and then I wake up on my back which makes it hurt even more. [Waking up on my back is very rare for me, I am a side sleeper, and always have been so I thought that I would have no problem during pregnancies with sleeping on my back, turns out I was wrong.] Also we haven't announced it on Facebook but we really don't care who finds out at this point. (: We are planning to announce it when we know the gender.

May 29-Week 16
About a week after my last posting Levi and I went to the temple, and I was pretty sure that I felt the baby move. [That would be week 14, which is very early, but now that I've gone back to the temple multiple times since then, I have realized it is where he moves the most...so I guarantee that my first fetal movement moment truly happened at week 14!] But then I didn't feel anything again until this week. And I'm still not sure if it's fetal movement or something else…it is however my only sign that this baby is even alive inside of me. That may sound silly, but when the doctor tells you he won't see you for six weeks, your stress levels about your babies health tends to go up! And I wouldn't say I'm very stressed, but it would at least be nice to know what's really going on inside me.

I have been getting the pains of "round ligaments." This just means that my body is stretching! Another sign that there is life inside of me. (: They are very low abdominal pains that come mostly when I use my muscles in my stomach. My back hurts a lot still, but I'm practically used to that by now. Anything but scrubs, skirts, and dresses hurt my stomach and make me feel even more sick. Tessa let me try her maternity pants, but even those were too tight on my belly. ): Hopefully one day things will work out!

I love second trimester! I feel like myself, and I feel like I can finally enjoy pregnancy. A few days ago, we took week 16 picture. Here it is below!

Still as tiny as ever, but it's a lot bigger than what I'm used to! I have only gained 3 pounds this whole pregnancy...so far.

I'm feeling so much better and I almost forget that I'm even pregnant. It is now July 9 and there's a lot that has happened!

June 10 - Week 18
Levi felt the baby today! Here is the belly progress:

June 15 - Week 19

Today we found out what the gender of our baby is! We went to the doctors office with our guess: girl. Levi said boy to the doctor just to be different from me… And because boy is what we really want. So she put the gel on my belly and starts to peek at our baby. No gender shot yet because babies legs are crossed. ["Typical thing for girls to do," I think to myself.] So she continues to make sure that the baby has all of its organs and limbs, including all 10 fingers and all 10 toes. We loved getting to see everything and didn't even care that we still don't know the gender while she is doing all of this. So she goes back to the legs and…

"Dad is right!!" She says. We were both shocked, and beyond thrilled. We are having a baby boy! Completely not what we thought. (-: So that night we had a gender reveal party. We put all things blue in black balloons. And had everyone wear their guess (mustache=boy & crown=girl). Almost everyone guessed girl. (;

The shock of seeing blue come out of the balloon was priceless. (-:

Here are all the GIRL guesses









And all the BOY guesses

And this is how we announced it to the world...okay okay, fine it was just the post we made on FaceBook:

And this is my belly progress at 20, just a week after we found out he is a BOY:

Again a HUGE thanks to Amber Lynn and her artistic abilities. It would take me years to figure out how to put the box on the picture...she has saved me from having to worry about that.

Baby Journey Week 1-9

Reader Warning: May contain content that you would rather not hear or see, so read and view at your own discretion. 

We first started realizing that I could be pregnant on my birthday, March 13, 2015. I was really sick. I felt like I had the flu, but really all I wanted to do was sleep. I had a headache, which is highly unusual for me. I could eat regardless of how I felt (also strange since flu-like symptoms keep you far from all the food in the world). 

The whole Vance side of the family was here from Utah to see Stephanie and Josh Winn at their homecoming and farewell. Mama Vance was listening to me describe my symptoms and she said "That's exactly how I felt when I was pregnant…" At this point we were pretty sure that something was up, but that was pretty much the final straw for us to actually do something about it. After the family left our apartment we decided that we would take a pregnancy test the following Monday. 

We both had to wake up really early on Monday (March 16th) so we figured this would be the perfect time. [Apparently taking a pregnancy test is more accurate when you take it earlier in the morning. I had taken one before, and it was late at night and I was new to the whole thing and it stayed negative for a long time, and I was sure I was pregnant-at least we had hoped! Well I wasn't at that point, but just to be sure I did everything I could to get an accurate reading.] I took the test and almost immediately a positive sign showed up. There was no immediate feeling of sheer excitement, nor of sheer terror. This is probably due to the fact that I had just woken up and it was 6 AM. I brought the stick into Levi and said, "Yep we are pregnant!" with a glazed look over my eyes, and a tired smile on my face. 

The first real sign of proof! (Sorry for the pee dribbles...sorry if you didn't see them at first and I just pointed them out...)

We sat there cuddling for a moment, silently contemplating what our near future had in store for us. Then Levi said, "Can we pray?" He offered that prayer and thanked our Heavenly Father for trusting us enough to send us a little one, to take care of them and to start growing our family! 

Even at this point excitement has not kicked in. And this made me sad. As Levi and I started to realize the reality of being pregnant, we began to contemplate all of the struggles that lie ahead of us, completely forgetting and ignoring all of the joys. We became somewhat stressed, and totally unaware of how to manage our lives. What would we do with school, work, providing for a family, sharing one another, etc.? 

That afternoon, so still on Monday, I couldn't keep our secret, so we decided that we would tell our parents! I wanted to shout it out to the whole world, but I knew no one would really care at that point unless they were those whom we loved. Since we were at school and we didn't want anyone else to overhear us saying it out loud  we shared our news by text. Mom and Dad Kivett were happy, but Mom and Dad Vance were ecstatic. This will be Mom and Dad Kivett's 21st grandbaby, but Mom and Dad Vance's very first. 

At this point in the pregnancy I believe we were five weeks pregnant, maybe even six. And morning sickness was definitely already present. Although it is not just in the morning, for me it lasts all day. It is a constant nausea. I constantly wish that I could throw up. Food is hard for me to eat, but it's the one thing that I need. 
About two days later, we decided we would tell the siblings. We knew it was early, but keeping a secret like this is way too hard, and I needed help and advice on how to handle my sickness (and stresses). So we told all of our siblings, except for Gabby and Sadie. We knew that once those two found out that we wouldn't have much of a secret anymore. Everyone was so happy! Nate and Emma were ecstatic just like Mom and Dad Vance. (: Most of my siblings weren't even surprised, and immediately started helping me know how to handle myself.
The battle rages on: I continue to feel sick, every day--all day. But for some reason my morning sickness gets even worse at night. I'm still trying to figure out what works for me. (I thought that one thing would work on everyone, but soon realized that is not the case, each woman and pregnancy is very different.) My back hurts frequently, even though this precious baby is just as big as a grape. It's amazing how well I can smell! And almost any smell is disgusting and putrid. Poor Levi can't even have fresh breath without me not being able to kiss him. He probably has the harder end of the stick dealing with me. /: He is so kind, patient, and loving! He makes me food all the time. He sits through me throwing up. He is patient all the time, especially when suggesting food.  Our love is growing for one another much more rapidly. And our love for becoming parents is right alongside that. Our joy is growing, and so is this baby! <3 

The sickness continues all the way up into our first appointment! This is now April 8 and we are nine weeks along to the day. At the first appointment, you get the first peek at the baby! They do a vaginal ultrasound, because that's the only way to see the baby. This is where it all got real, and where we actually felt like there was a human growing inside me, and not just some parasite eating up all my nutrients and making me sick. Levi almost cried when we saw our baby move, but I just swelled up with joy and excitement! Due to the measurements of the baby and my uterus we found out that we were actually nine weeks and three days, rather than just nine weeks flat. I also found out that I have a retroverted uterus. The ultrasound tech told us that this specific shot of the baby is what she calls the gummy bear shot. So that night we announced our baby to our family and friends with this simple picture:

It looks like we took a lot of time on it, but we didn't. That's just the joys of modern technology! Although photo credit does go to Hannah for taking the picture, and to Amber for having a sweet photo editor thing and teaching us how to use it. You guys rock.

And another close up of this sweet "gummy bear" cause it's that cute.