Lion's Mouth Cave

So this happened a long time ago , but I hadn't documented it yet..oops.

We didn't even try to get him to smile. He just saw himself in the selfie screen and was overcome with joy causing a precious little grin. 

March 24, 2016

Levi and I were about to drive to Kaysville again but we wanted to explore our new city before doing so. We had been researching a lot of places to go and this was the closest place and easiest hike with a baby and no carrier. The wind was CRAZY but our 4 month old loved every freezing minute of it. Let's be real, we all loved it. Being outside and exploring the beautiful things God has given us is amazing--not to mention historical explorations are just as beautiful and amazing! Enjoy some pictures of our fun, quick adventure!

Our cutie pie falling asleep in the car on the way to the hike. He is adorable.

These were so sweet! There was a whole wall--er mountain--of them. Gorgeous.

The 4 month old was too busy trying to figure out what daddy was doing in this picture. Look at his cold nose and lips. My goodness he needs smooched!

Where's Levi?

Cold nose...I felt so bad for him but he just LOVED it.

There he is climbing away...that little exploring nut.

Here we are watching him. (Also slight proof that his left eye is darker than his right)

My goober buddy...

and his goober mom.

You Remain My Number One

As I lay in bed snuggled up next to my husband, I could feel his breath against my neck, and his chest rising and falling against my body. My mind raced to my baby and how I love to feel his belly rise and fall against my own. I started to think about how much time I spend with him and how little time I spend with my husband. Then it dawned on me, "What do I need to do to keep Levi my priority, my number one, and not let my baby creep up into first place? After all, since I spend more time with him and get to do fun things with him throughout the day like going on a walking trail, going to the park, playing games, etc. what can I do to maintain my relationship with Levi and make it better than the one with my beautiful son?" Then almost all at once all 10 of these ideas popped into my mind and I felt the urge to write each one down. I share them here to be accountable to God and my husband, and to help anyone who may need it by sharing a few inspiring ideas that can turn our focus back to our husbands rather than putting all our efforts into our little buddies.

1. Invest more of my time into him--be more diligent with making dates happen (get a babysitter planned sooner), give him all of my attention during meals, make a greater effort to do what he enjoys or wants to do, etc.

2. Snuggle more often--we love to cuddle, but sometimes I am "too busy" taking care of the baby.

3. Let him hug or kiss me more--there are so many times where he tries to come love on me while I am doing something "important" like making dinner or changing baby's diaper and I quickly give him what he wants and proceed to be busy. Really? I can't give him just one minute of my love?

4. Get off my technology and truly listen--I have found myself doing my own pet peeve, looking at my phone while someone is talking to me. This needs to change. He deserves more than that.

5. Find more ways to say "I love you"--we say those words so often, but we all know the saying, "actions speak louder than words." He does such a good job at making me feel loved through what he does, now it's my turn to step up to the plate.

6. Watch him play with our child--when I hand the baby over to him, I usually take that as an excuse to have a break and I go do something else, then I get frustrated when he wants me to constantly watch him make baby laugh. Again, I need to slow down and let his joy be my joy and enjoy these precious moments of my husband and son laughing together.

7. Inquire about his life--maybe it's because I know that he's been at work - just like every other day- that I don't think to ask him how he is doing, but that doesn't keep him from asking me about my day and how it went. This simple act of sincerely asking, "how are you doing today?" can go a really long way and show him I truly care about him and what's going on in his life.

8. Stop complaining--I absolutely dislike that he is gone from me so much of the day and that we were sealed together, bound by a promise made with God, only to have him leave me everyday so as to provide for our family and more fully protect us from the world. Rather than complain about that, I need to support him and be grateful for what he does for us. After all, it's a sacrifice for him too.

9. Let him take a break--by the time he gets home I am usually worn out from taking care of a child, and I just need a break. The tricky part is, if Levi comes home and takes care of baby the rest of the night, then he doesn't really get a break. I am committed to helping him feel relaxed after work, while staying sane myself, of course.

10. Become a daughter of God--as I stay close to God His spirit will be able to be with me more and guide me to know what to do. As I learn of my potential and my divine nature I will become the daughter He needs, the wife Levi needs, and the mother my child needs. In that order. As God is my priority all other priorities fall into place.

There you have it, my newfound commitment to my Heavenly Father and family. If you made it this far I encourage you to take the time to make your own list. How can you more fully portray yourself as a child of God? What changes may be necessary in your life? Who can you serve? What needs some refocusing in your life? I know that I will be happier as I lose myself in serving others, and that God will sanctify my efforts.

The Legacy of the Ring

It was always a wishful dream to get an heirloom ring from my future husband, but that dream came true and many more dreams I didn't even know I had came attached with this beautiful piece of jewelry. How blessed I feel to have such a big story behind a ring that makes me want to be a better person and keep the legacy of this ring ever bright and full of life!

We enjoyed a fabulous weekend with family to see my sister-in-law, Emma, preform as the lead character Winifred in the play Once Upon A Mattress. She was tremendous and the play was hilarious! Not only did Levi and I both get to attend (with baby of course -- hooray for his first play!) but Poppie came, too! This was special because on Saturday we got to sort of celebrate Nonnie and Poppies anniversary with him. Their wedding anniversary is the biggest celebratory event since Nonnie passed away, and it was great to surround him with love on that day.

Poppie told us his version of how he and Nonnie met:
He was at a post office to send a letter to his girlfriend back home. Nonnie was working there and asked him if he knew anything about the Mormons and if he would like to know more. Poppie was always intrigued with theology and was curious to find out more, so Nonnie extended the invite to church and to a fireside. Then, as the saying goes, "The rest is history."

What a devout woman of faith and courage! 

On Sunday, we were graced with a talk by Gabby (her very first one in sacrament meeting) and she taught a lesson that Nonnie had taught in an FHE on choice and accountability:
Instead of asking ourselves, "What should I do?" we should ask, "What will this lead to?" She gave the example of how we can come home after a very long and tiring day and be tempted not to read our scriptures. If we simply ask, "What will this lead to," we will know that skipping one day isn't too terrible that it may lead to skipping the next night and then the next night.

I admire Nonnie for that advice and inspiring counsel.

The next few speakers talked about wonderful, enlightening things such as giving God our complete trust, but one piece of a story seemed to really catch my attention:
His sister gave him the counsel to smile and say hi to everyone at school and to especially seek out those who were alone. He then proceeded to say that this ended up saving a buddy from taking his own life.

This example lead me to think of Nonnie and the story I heard at her funeral about how she couldn't see very well and so she would just make sure to smile and say hi to everyone so she wouldn't miss saying hi to one of her friends. She always found a way of making others feel loved.

Nonnie was always brave and full of joy. From what I understand she was in a whole lot of pain for the last 20-30 years of her life and she never stopped smiling and laughing and causing others to do the same. Not to mention the fact that she was always looking for reasons to share the gospel with others (most of whom were doctors or nurses.) She is a hero in many many aspects of her life.

I was proud to wear her ring because of the legendary woman I had heard she was (through Steph) before I even met Levi or Nonnie, and I am proud to wear it now for the woman it makes me want to become. How grateful I am to have the reminder from my gorgeous ring of such a strong woman in such a frail body. How grateful I am that this ring reminds me not only of her and her life well-lived, but of the covenants Levi and I made as we were sealed together for time and all eternity as husband and wife. This small golden symbol of marriage is something I will always cherish as I strive to do my best to carry on the legacy she left with it.

Family Pictures

Savannah came home so that calls for family pictures! Especially since I have been in the family for almost 1.5 years and we haven't taken any with me in it, not to mention our sweet baby. They turned out so well. It was one of the funnest photo shoots I have ever done. Amy took photos of us "in our element." Meaning she took our pictures inside the house; in the kitchen, the bedroom, the office, the living room, etc. And then we took outside pictures using the living room couch. They turned out so cute! They capture each of us and who we truly are really well. Here they are!

Opportunities Are Endless

I had an amazing opportunity to get more bridal pictures done, a year after my wedding, and with a 2 month old! A photographer posted on Facebook saying that she needed to borrow a bouquet for a photo shoot and since I still have mine, I offered mine up to her. Later, I got a text message from her asking if I would be willing to model for her since I had a winter wedding dress. She informed me that the photo shoot was for a shawl she made for her company and that she needed pictures of it. She is seriously an amazing photographer! So this is just me bragging about her and showing off her work.

First off, her name is Jayme Garcia Christensen. She did my photo shoot for free and gave me all these wonderful photos in return for my service. Here is why she is great and why you should ask her to take your photos:

-->She is constantly praising you and happy with the shots she is getting which makes you feel like a beauty queen!

-->She poses every part of your body which is great for inexperienced "models" like me to feel confident in the way I am posing.

-->She is loyal and true to her word. I have realized it is my pet peeve when someone promises something (you don't have to say the words to make it be a promise) and doesn't keep that promise, so I really admired this in a photographer!

-->She was fast and consistent in what she did. Our shoot took probably 35 minutes max. and she did a phenomenal job.

I'll keep this short and sweet, but I thought a shout out would be nice for her, she totally deserves it! Thanks for the pictures Jayme! You deserve more recognition for what you do.

The New Year = A New Life

One simple photo to capture the new life. That's all. Just one photo. 

December 18th, 2015
This marks the day that Levi is an official graduate from BYU-Idaho! Congrats to my amazing hard-working-goal-making-hunk-of-a husband. He made it to the end, and now we wait a year for him to start it all over again. (: Funny how schooling works like that, isn't it? You finish Elementary just to go to Jr. High and you finish that so you can proceed to High School, then College, etc. An end is never really the end. But it is still a huge accomplishment and an even bigger stepping stone to the ultimate goal -- PA school. How grateful I am to Levi for all the hard work he puts into his passions.

The other wonderful thing this picture captures is the fact that Levi and I are parents. I am now a mom. First a foremost I am a daughter of God, a wife, and now I have added another sacred title of being "Mom."

While I was pregnant the thought of going back to school once the baby came was a quick, easy thought to process. "Of course I will go back! Baby will have a babysitter everyday for just a measly 3 hours for the first semester back and then I will come back home to be with him all day," thought I. Then reality struck when I had baby in my arms trying to do homework the semester I had him. I hated putting him second. Even though I told myself that I was doing this for him, it felt like I was still putting him below schooling.

I had a friend in the same situation as me who pointed out to me a feeling I was also experiencing --we would both get frustrated with our child when he became fussy because it was taking us away from homework rather than get frustrated with the homework for keeping us from our child. We discussed how terrible we felt about that. It should be the other way around! Get mad at homework for not letting us give our babies all the attention they need. It clicked. Right there in that moment, it clicked.

School is important. Education is important. Being able to provide for the family is important. But in that moment God spoke to my heart. He told me that I could still do all these things! That if I truly put my family first (which in my case means not going to school right now) that those things would naturally come (with a bit of effort). I was reminded of my mom who doesn't have a degree behind her name but is probably a qualified nurse, teacher, counselor, and seamstress by now. That came with time, research, and many tears of her own and many tears from her 12 children.

Most women I know and respect and someday aspire to be, don't have a degree. Now that does NOT make getting a degree bad, nor does it qualify me to excuse myself from trying to obtain a degree. I have a passion of my own to fulfill (becoming a Therapeutic Recreation Specialist) someday, and in the meantime I can still apply the things I already know how to do in my growing family! Besides getting a degree right now would only be put on pause the second I got it to raise a rambunctious 1 year old. I don't see the point in killing myself and my family to get a degree, just to have one.

It boils down to the fact that I feel as though God has answered my prayer and helped me make a very hard decision. It makes me sad to turn my back to one of my major passions, but that hole is filled as my whole heart turns to an even greater passion. Staying at home will not be easy. I will have to push myself. I will need to be very self-motivated. I will have to constantly direct my time and attention to a tiny baby who can't talk or walk (at least for now.) I will have to seek out opportunities rather than have them sitting in my lap or right at my fingertips. I will have to figure out how to volunteer and bring my baby with. I will have no car and get to walk to the store with my baby in the freezing weather (yes that has happened -- at least it was barely above freezing, cause in Rexburg that's warm winter weather.) I will have to work really hard to get human contact outside of my husband and baby. But I know it will all be worth it in the end. I refuse to let this decision to put school off for a few years destroy me or become something I regret later on because it is a decision God has clearly given me direction on. He has plans in store for me and my family, and to deny those plans and blessings with regrets is silly, so this is me choosing to love this decision and not look back.

Please don't get me wrong, I am not preaching the idea that this is the right decision for everyone. I believe in a God who gives general and individual instruction, and this so happens to be an individual one. Many women I respect and love are doing (or have done) school and kids combined. I don't think any less of them by any means. This just happens to be right for me and my family. Huge thanks to everyone who helped me make this decision. Now on to a new life. A new family. A new me.

Baby Journey Week 31-37

September 14 - Week 32

School started today! I went to an entire day of outdoor cooking - it was exhausting. We had two hours or so of lecture and then we were outside for four hours cooking. (I now realize that the smoke from the fire makes me a little ill feeling. And this first week we cooked with tin cans which made the smell that much worse. If you have never experienced cooking with tin cans, imagine a very bitter, dirty mixture of coffee and cigarette smoke and mix that with smoke from a fire...it's very strong and my senses are very sensitive.) This made me pretty worried about how the rest of the semester would go, but not enough to drop the class, or do anything else drastic.

This is what the can looks like, I was baking a cookie inside the upside down tuna fish can. We also cooked meat and veggies just straight on the top of the giant can, that's why it is burnt looking, for I had already eaten my veggies and meat.

My other class (Parenting Skills) is very fun and not stressful at all, so I think I will do fine by the time I get to the end of these two block classes, and we pray that baby won't come too early so that I can finish them. (He would be 2 weeks early before my classes fully end - highly possible.)

Also, here is my belly bump - he is getting SO big..at least it feels that way. 

September 25-26 - Week 33

My wonderful family threw me a baby shower in Utah! I got to see a lot of friends I hadn't seen in a very long time and I was so grateful, and ecstatic to be able to see them! I feel very blessed to have such wonderful friends, and family members who look after Levi and I and the things that we need. Having a baby is becoming more and more real, and Levi and I are getting more and more anxious and excited. We just really want to meet this little guy already! We talk about how he might look, and fantasize about things we will do with him when he is finally here, like kiss his cheeks, hold his fingers, etc. - just all the cute baby things. (: This picture is the only one I have from that day, me and my Tina Belle. Oh how I wish all my friends lived closer to me!

September 29 - Week 34

Today was our Doctor's Appointment. It was our first time meeting the new guy (Dr. Packer). We have just been so thrilled and ready to have a baby recently, and it is killing us to wait any longer. Well, today made it even more real because we got a surprise ultrasound of our precious bean! As I mentioned in an earlier blog, you should be measuring right along with how far along you are. So if you are 34 weeks you should be 34 centimeters, or close to it. If you are more than 3 centimeters from the mark, then they check things to make sure everything is going alright. Dr. Packer said, "You just won yourselves a free ultrasound!" I was so happy! We made an appointment for the same day just a few hours later, and we were so ready to see another sneak peak of a larger baby than we had seen so long ago. He was measuring just fine - there were no worries at all (from me or the ultrasound technician.) He is a whopping 5 pounds 6 ounces and I can totally feel all of that weight not to mention the weight of the placenta and all the other fluids. (So far in the pregnancy I have gained about 15 pounds.) Seeing him so close up made us even more ready for him to come and it makes it hard to think of how close he is, yet how distant and far he actually is. Anywho, here are a few of the ultrasound surprise!

Doesn't it kind of look like he is pursing his lips? I hope that's not the case cause I want him to have those full lips, just like his daddy. P.S. the thing under his chin is his umbilical cord, I asked. (:

Again with those luscious lips though! This is his nose/lips from the front angle, as if they were pushed up against a window.

His most perfect of all the ears. Okay..I know I will think everything is perfect on him...but it's a perfect ear, is it not? Plus, how cool is it that he has hair already, and that you can see that on an ultrasound?...Wonder how much that will stick when he actually comes to join us.

Also...here is what he looks like on the outside..(;

October 6-11 - Weeks 35/36

We went to San Diego -- no, we drove to San Diego. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and I only had to be the cause to stop for the bathroom like once (granted I did need to go each time someone else needed to stop, I got lucky!) Nate was graduating from Marine boot camp and we went down as a family to support and celebrate him and his accomplishments. Being in warmer weather was fantastic, and so was being able to swim. Levi took such great care of me as we stood most of the time in the sun, but he did all he could to make sure I was cared for. He is the best. Here is a picture of us and Nate after graduation:

Isn't that guy in the middle so smoking and handsome! Mmmhmmm.

The beach was so much fun, and probably the last time my white legs will see sun. We played hard in the waves and had a blast! Then I had to work on homework...but it was a good excuse to take a rest and enjoy the sun.

The in laws are so excited for this bundle of joy to come, and they make sure to tell me! I love it. I also love talking to each of them about their experiences having their first, and what they enjoyed and advice they have. It was so fun to just be with the in laws for about a week, road trips are the best, and they help you grow closer. 

October 16 - Week 36

We went on a super fun date with Eric and Lacey to Idaho Falls. We had Chili's and then went to the Deep Love Ghostly Rock Opera. It was such fun, and baby was moving a lot because of how loud the music was. It was amazing and the only "uncomfortable" thing in my pregnancy right now is just how often my bladder gets squeezed or punched - either on the inside or out. (When it's on the outside it's usually Levi..why, you ask, not so sure.) Here I am at 36:

Things are pretty steady and normal as far as my pregnancy goes, but my feelings and emotions are all over the place. I am not a blubbery mess, like some pregnant women get, but if you know me well enough, you know that's no surprise. The emotions that are coming seem intense to me because they are rare. I mainly feel scared for such a huge change, and for so many unexpected things to come our way. I am nervous to be a mom. I am worried that I won't be able to love unconditionally. I am terrified that I will be so caught up in giving baby all of my attention that I will neglect Levi. I am stressed to have so much attention on me, and especially for our tinsy babe to have too much attention and become overstimulated. I also feel like he will never come, but I know that he will, it's just a huge ball of anticipation that gets bigger and bigger as each day rolls around. I still have a few "milestones" to get to where I expect to still be pregnant, so once those are up, we will see how my feelings have changed. 

October 23/24 - Week 37

Well here comes my final major "milestone!" Outdoor Cooking overnight practicum - camping at Badger Creek. It was such a blast! Levi got permission to come with me in case I needed to leave early, and we got spoiled to a cabin (which was only nice for the warmth - I hardly slept due to how uncomfortable the beds were.) We made dinner and breakfast for a group of roughly 60 people, and at each meals I felt pretty worn out and sick, which is rare for me nowadays. We also got to see very cute husky puppies, and Sister Lovell gave each of us a nose whistle! Hilarious.

Our view was incredible, and we were so happy to be outdoors for class. I have the coolest major ever. Seriously.

It's a pretty terrible picture, but try to only pay attention to how darn cute these puppies are. It was freezing, but they warmed us up well! They are only 6 weeks old.

Milestones have all been met, and my first block classes will all be officially over by Tuesday the 27th. My mind has been somewhat eased this week because Tessa came to visit and I was reminded of the joy that children bring to my life. It was so fun to have them around and to see the cutest husband be the cutest uncle. I can't wait to fall in love with him as a father. Oh my heart doesn't know what it's getting into in the next few weeks. We made a really gigantic pile of leaves and tried to show the boys how to have fun in it, but since it was twice the size of Corbin he avoided it. We had fun though. I think we will be able to handle this whole parenting thing, maybe.