Baby Journey Week 1-9

Reader Warning: May contain content that you would rather not hear or see, so read and view at your own discretion. 

We first started realizing that I could be pregnant on my birthday, March 13, 2015. I was really sick. I felt like I had the flu, but really all I wanted to do was sleep. I had a headache, which is highly unusual for me. I could eat regardless of how I felt (also strange since flu-like symptoms keep you far from all the food in the world). 

The whole Vance side of the family was here from Utah to see Stephanie and Josh Winn at their homecoming and farewell. Mama Vance was listening to me describe my symptoms and she said "That's exactly how I felt when I was pregnant…" At this point we were pretty sure that something was up, but that was pretty much the final straw for us to actually do something about it. After the family left our apartment we decided that we would take a pregnancy test the following Monday. 

We both had to wake up really early on Monday (March 16th) so we figured this would be the perfect time. [Apparently taking a pregnancy test is more accurate when you take it earlier in the morning. I had taken one before, and it was late at night and I was new to the whole thing and it stayed negative for a long time, and I was sure I was pregnant-at least we had hoped! Well I wasn't at that point, but just to be sure I did everything I could to get an accurate reading.] I took the test and almost immediately a positive sign showed up. There was no immediate feeling of sheer excitement, nor of sheer terror. This is probably due to the fact that I had just woken up and it was 6 AM. I brought the stick into Levi and said, "Yep we are pregnant!" with a glazed look over my eyes, and a tired smile on my face. 

The first real sign of proof! (Sorry for the pee dribbles...sorry if you didn't see them at first and I just pointed them out...)

We sat there cuddling for a moment, silently contemplating what our near future had in store for us. Then Levi said, "Can we pray?" He offered that prayer and thanked our Heavenly Father for trusting us enough to send us a little one, to take care of them and to start growing our family! 

Even at this point excitement has not kicked in. And this made me sad. As Levi and I started to realize the reality of being pregnant, we began to contemplate all of the struggles that lie ahead of us, completely forgetting and ignoring all of the joys. We became somewhat stressed, and totally unaware of how to manage our lives. What would we do with school, work, providing for a family, sharing one another, etc.? 

That afternoon, so still on Monday, I couldn't keep our secret, so we decided that we would tell our parents! I wanted to shout it out to the whole world, but I knew no one would really care at that point unless they were those whom we loved. Since we were at school and we didn't want anyone else to overhear us saying it out loud  we shared our news by text. Mom and Dad Kivett were happy, but Mom and Dad Vance were ecstatic. This will be Mom and Dad Kivett's 21st grandbaby, but Mom and Dad Vance's very first. 

At this point in the pregnancy I believe we were five weeks pregnant, maybe even six. And morning sickness was definitely already present. Although it is not just in the morning, for me it lasts all day. It is a constant nausea. I constantly wish that I could throw up. Food is hard for me to eat, but it's the one thing that I need. 
About two days later, we decided we would tell the siblings. We knew it was early, but keeping a secret like this is way too hard, and I needed help and advice on how to handle my sickness (and stresses). So we told all of our siblings, except for Gabby and Sadie. We knew that once those two found out that we wouldn't have much of a secret anymore. Everyone was so happy! Nate and Emma were ecstatic just like Mom and Dad Vance. (: Most of my siblings weren't even surprised, and immediately started helping me know how to handle myself.
The battle rages on: I continue to feel sick, every day--all day. But for some reason my morning sickness gets even worse at night. I'm still trying to figure out what works for me. (I thought that one thing would work on everyone, but soon realized that is not the case, each woman and pregnancy is very different.) My back hurts frequently, even though this precious baby is just as big as a grape. It's amazing how well I can smell! And almost any smell is disgusting and putrid. Poor Levi can't even have fresh breath without me not being able to kiss him. He probably has the harder end of the stick dealing with me. /: He is so kind, patient, and loving! He makes me food all the time. He sits through me throwing up. He is patient all the time, especially when suggesting food.  Our love is growing for one another much more rapidly. And our love for becoming parents is right alongside that. Our joy is growing, and so is this baby! <3 

The sickness continues all the way up into our first appointment! This is now April 8 and we are nine weeks along to the day. At the first appointment, you get the first peek at the baby! They do a vaginal ultrasound, because that's the only way to see the baby. This is where it all got real, and where we actually felt like there was a human growing inside me, and not just some parasite eating up all my nutrients and making me sick. Levi almost cried when we saw our baby move, but I just swelled up with joy and excitement! Due to the measurements of the baby and my uterus we found out that we were actually nine weeks and three days, rather than just nine weeks flat. I also found out that I have a retroverted uterus. The ultrasound tech told us that this specific shot of the baby is what she calls the gummy bear shot. So that night we announced our baby to our family and friends with this simple picture:

It looks like we took a lot of time on it, but we didn't. That's just the joys of modern technology! Although photo credit does go to Hannah for taking the picture, and to Amber for having a sweet photo editor thing and teaching us how to use it. You guys rock.

And another close up of this sweet "gummy bear" cause it's that cute.